Happy Birthday, Bella
by melmist
Summary: AU: Bella celebrates her birthday.What happens when her past comes to give her a belated present? Had to change my rating due to language and mature themes. ExB
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own _Twilight_, _New Moon_, or these characters. In fact, Edward's description comes from the books. Thanks!

Happy Birthday, Bella

Okay, I admit these little indulgences weren't the best for my sanity. At this particular moment I didn't care. This was my ritual. For some disturbingly masochistic reason I couldn't quite explain, I had grown fond of this once a year indulgence I allowed myself.

I apprehensively walked over to the white porcelain claw-foot tub and sighed as I sat on the side. I knew what this would do to me, but I couldn't resist. _Go ahead, rip yourself open_. I turned on the water and watched as the tub slowly filled with water. I lovingly caressed the small ball of fragrance I knew would take me over the edge. Well, if I were being totally honest with myself, I would help with the final dive into oblivion. I knew it and I didn't give a shit. I dropped the bath bomb into the water and smiled as the water began to fizz, releasing the scent throughout the room. _Freesia_ . My mind began its descent. I was ready. I actually welcomed it. I slowly stripped as the tub filled with heavenly water. The water was hot.

_Umm_. I smiled as I slowly sank into the tub. It was so hot I knew I'd be red when I got out. I settled in and grabbed my own personal heaven, or hell depending on how you look at it- my silver cocktail shaker. It contained _my_ brand of heroin- well beside _him_: one shot of cranberry juice (organic, of course), one shot of Triple Sec, one shot of Rose's Sweetened Lime Juice, and two shots of Grey Goose Orange (the secret)-my Cosmo. I poured it into my martini glass-4 cherries waiting to go for a swim. I took a sip, closed my eyes, unlocked my carefully guarded mind, and let it all back in.

I knew my memory wouldn't do him justice, but he saw to that didn't he? _"It will be as if I never existed."_ He took everything- my pictures, my CD, my plane tickets, _my heart_. But he couldn't take my mind. Even though I couldn't hold him, I could, once a year, hold onto a memory. And I embraced that realization with my entire being. I didn't open my eyes until I had finished my drink. It took one full drink before I could say his name. I poured the rest of the shaker into my glass. Yeah, it's self_-_destructive, but I knew what came next. I took another sip and said his name aloud. No one was home anyway.

_Edward_.

When I opened my eyes, there he was. He sat motionless as a statue at the other end of my tub. My eyes hungrily devoured his pale white features: the square jaw, straight nose, high cheekbones, full lips, wide butterscotch eyes framed by thick black lashes. He was so fucking beautiful. I sucked in my breath. _How much vodka did I put in that damn drink?_ This delusion was quite good. If I were to make another drink, I bet I could touch him. No. I'd have to break the spell to go back to the kitchen. Fine. Next year, I'll make _two_ shakers of Cosmos. I focused back on my hallucination and my eyes traveled from his face to his smooth throat to his perfect chest then on to the perfect muscles of his abdomen slowly disappearing into the water.

"Bella," my dream sighed. He closed his eyes. He looked so peaceful. He took a deep breath, breathing me in. Then he slowly exhaled and I couldn't help but lean forward in the tub. I swear to God I felt his cool breath on my face, smelled his sweet, intoxicating scent. My body began to react. _Jesus, you are drunk Bella_. His velvet voice caressed my skin. "I've missed you so, Bella. I love you. I will always love you." His voice was husky, full of longing. As if it had a mind of its own, my hand traveled down the path he always took from my face down my neck. But I didn't stop there. I continued down my chest, resting finally on my breast, giving away just how much I still wanted him. _Oh, Edward. I love you too._

Obviously, I had gone too far this time. I pulled the plug and watched as he vanished as the water escaped down the drain. Three years and my heart still ached. Three damn years! Slowly I got out of the tub and dried myself off. I slipped on my pajamas and climbed into the bed. As I drifted off to sleep, I swear I heard his sweet voice whisper "Happy Birthday, Bella."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own _Twilight, New Moon_, or any of S. Meyer's characters. I also do not own _Sex and the City_.

Please review. Thanks!

Chapter 2

Sunlight began to filter through the room right before my alarm yelled at me using the unbearable twang of a country love song. I smacked my alarm twice before I found the snooze button. Ugh. I am so not a morning person. I covered my head with my pillow trying to block out the sunlight. Why the hell did I choose Hawaii to go to school? _Oh yeah, that's why_. All the bullshit and tough girl persona aside, I knew why I came here. I hit my snooze one last time, remembering how I had basked in a delusion last night. But at least here I didn't have to pretend to be normal. I could be whomever I wanted, act however I wanted. And no one could say, "well she used to not be that way," or "what has gotten into her," or worse still "he broke her heart and she hasn't been the same since." No- Hawaii had lush tropical scenery, beautiful sunrises and sunsets, strangers who didn't know shit about me, and _lots_ of sun. No risk of seeing sparkling skin here or dazzling topaz eyes that I could lose myself in. Not a chance.

I got up and stumbled to my tiny kitchen following the rich aroma of my coffee pot. Seattle has amazing coffee, but I discovered that Hawaii has more than the above-mentioned perks- the coffee was great too.

"Well, good morning Sleeping Beauty." I jumped when I heard her voice. I didn't know anyone was here. I growled at her.

"Looks like you had an interesting night. Did you go all _Sex and the City_ last night or what?"

"Huh?" I grabbed a cup and poured me a cup of coffee. I needed cream.

"Your drink choice, of course. Not that you brought someone home like Samantha would. Not you. Picture you in a sex swing- I think not."

"Their drink of choice was a Manhattan, wasn't it? I made Cosmos. It was my birthday after all." I glared at her. Ouch! I needed Excedrin. I must have had too much. Vodka does tend to sneak up on me like that. Andrea got up to fill her cup. She smirked at me when she saw me grab the Excedrin. She settled back into her seat eyeing me suspiciously.

"I know yesterday was your birthday. I tried to take you to dinner. I tried to take you out. It's not everyday you turn 21. But no, Bella had to hole up in here and drink alone. Why the fuck would you want to do that?"

She wouldn't understand even I attempted to tell her. Where would I start? _Oh yeah, well you see Andrea I fell in love with a beautiful boy and I'm not beautiful. He let me believe I was the most important thing in his life, but I really wasn't. Once he convinced me that he loved me, he left me. He didn't want me anymore. Oh yeah, did I fail to mention that he was a vampire?_ She'd think I was really waving my freak flag today. Instead, I tried to change the subject.

"So, what are you doing today? Looks like it's another beautiful day in paradise." I rolled my eyes for effect, cringed because it made my head hurt, and slowly lowered myself into a chair. Andrea snickered at the apparent hangover symptoms I demonstrated.

"Yeah, well I've got to work today. But there's a band playing tonight at the bar." Her eyes lit up and she leaned towards me expectantly. "I know it's not as dangerous as sneaking into bars with a fake ID, but I'd love to buy your ass your first Cosmo as a legal woman."

Woman. Not quite. Still, it sounded like fun. Andrea was interesting, fun, and loyal. She was always game for any rebellious idea I had, plus she has put up with my quirky, eccentric behavior for the past three years. "Okay. What kind of band? Please let them be decent." Hey, could I put some Kahlua in my coffee, or would that be too self-destructive? It's Saturday and it's almost noon. What the hell.

"Hey, share the love! I want some too!" Andrea pushed her cup near mine. I gave us both a generous pour and sighed.

"I've got to work two to ten tonight at the Tiki Bar. I can meet you after. The band probably doesn't start till eleven. What time do you get off? If you meet me at the Tiki Bar, we can flirt a couple of shots off Dave before you _buy_ me my first Cosmo as a legal woman." It's not cheap living in Hawaii. I got up, rinsed my mug, and turned to face her. Over her shoulder I could see palm trees blowing in the breeze, green plants lining every walkway, and clusters of pink flowers cascading out of terra cotta pots. The sunlight was reflected off the pool throwing rainbow prisms all along the buildings and glass. _Sparkling like diamonds._

I reined my thoughts in quickly when I heard Andrea's sarcastic "Bella, oh hel-ll-oo Bella! Earth to Bella." Yes, I had definitely gone too far last night. Really, I do know better. I gave Andrea my undivided attention and kept my eyes on her face and not the sparkling rainbow outside. "Do you want to go run before our shifts or did you tie one on last night?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Sure, let's go run. It will get my head out of the clouds."

"Yeah, I know you've got to really concentrate so you don't trip over your own two feet!" She laughed triumphantly at her little joke as she headed to her room. I gave her the finger. I've really done well. I've trained and trained. I've been in yoga three times a week to work on balance and 'inward peace'. I run every day and hardly ever fall now. Maybe running would help me escape my past. The old Bella would never be able to run a 5K, much less train for a marathon. Problem is, did I want to escape or was I so angry because I desperately missed it?

As I headed to my shift I realized there is something to the saying "Ignorance is Bliss." I watched tourists come in, order common well drinks that cost way too much, and think they're getting a deal because some concierge told them the Tiki Bar is a 'locals' hangout. Whatever. I smile, chit-chat, and keep the drinks coming. If I keep them happy, the tips are good. Time usually flies by and today was no exception. I was about to begin my end of shift work when Tammy ran up to me and whispered, "Hey Bella. You've got two customers at table 9. They said they knew you." She leaned in very close and whispered, "If _he_ is why you are so secretive, I have truly underestimated you, Bella. You are my hero! He is so hot!"

I rolled my eyes at her and turned around to glance at my visitors. I felt my heart begin to try to escape its confines. It was beating so rapidly, I knew they could here it from across the room. I froze in place- I couldn't take my eyes off of them, I couldn't move my arms, I couldn't even breathe. Suddenly, I felt something ice cold on my leg and realized I had been trying to fill the frozen pina colada machine. In my state of paralysis, I had allowed the machine to overflow and the rogue mix was escaping down my leg. I quickly dropped the empty container in the sink, wiped up the mess, and turned to the bar. My mind was furiously searching for any reason for them to be here. _How dare they!_ I mixed two drinks quickly, tempted to drink them myself- liquid courage. I closed my eyes and silently repeated, "you can do this, you can do this" as I headed to the table.

"Hello, Alice. Hello, Jasper." I did my best to sound detached, but knew my traitor heartbeat had already given me away. "It's been awhile. Of course, _you two_ haven't changed a bit." My tone held more animosity than I truly felt. "These are on the house." I leaned in attempting to build suspense, "Bloody Marys." I lowered my voice and whispered conspiratorially, "It's the best I can do on short notice."

Jasper raised his eyebrows, clearly shocked at this bold, new Bella, but Alice narrowed her eyes at me and smiled wickedly. "Actually Bella, I was thinking of another drink. Hmm, what was in it Jazz? Oh, I remember- cranberry juice, triple sec, sweetened lime juice, and Grey Goose Orange."

I sucked in my breath, clearly shocked. Why I was surprised, I don't know. I tried to level my most evil glare at the beautiful vampire; she was clearly awaiting my witty response. I so wanted to give her one, to yell at her for not saying goodbye to me, but my voice came out in a whisper.

"You big cheater."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon. Stephenie Meyer created the wonderful characters in this story. Please read and review. I love to hear what y'all think!

Chapter 3

I have had so many conversations with myself, playing this scenario over and over in my head. What would I truly do if I were ever lucky enough to actually find one of the Cullens? I had extensively thought out exactly what I would say. Sometimes I was angry and would yell at them for leaving me. Other times I would cry and tell them just how much I had missed them. I had even begged in one of my pretend conversations for them to just kill me- anything would be better than living without Edward. But, when the scenario was no longer a figment of my more than active imagination, no words came to me. Instead, I found myself tightly wrapping my arms around my chest. I knew that this body language looked angry and stubborn, but I knew better. I was desperately trying to hold my heart in its cage, taking deep meditative breaths to calm it from beating ninety to nothing.

How much of my birthday moments had she seen? It had been three years without so much as a postcard, phone call, nothing. I thought my clandestine tryst with my beloved cocktail shaker was just between the four cherries and myself!

Alice's eyes softened and she spoke in a whisper, but one loud enough for my human ears to take in. "Seriously, Bella, I couldn't take anymore." She stood up slowly and approached me carefully, trying to gauge my reaction, and then embraced me tightly. I inhaled deeply, trying to let her sweet scent calm me. She was just as cold and hard as I remembered. She sighed as she released me and studied my face. "I really couldn't take anymore."

I returned her smile, trying desperately to keep my tears from betraying just how much I wanted her here. My arms were still tightly wound around my chest and I secretly pinched my inner arm. _Am I dreaming? Did I spike the coke I sipped on during my shift? This is so unhealthy, really it is. _She motioned for me to sit beside her but I stood motionless wondering how I was going to cope with this delusion. _God, I hope I'm not talking to myself. That would not be good at all._ I quickly scanned the room frantically seeking my bronze-haired illusion because, after all, if I was going to end up in the psychiatric ward of the nearest hospital I might as well do it thoroughly.

"Edward doesn't know we're here," Jasper broke my concentration. "And you're not going crazy. Please quit pinching yourself before you draw blood." My head snapped towards him and I raised my eyebrows. _How the he..._He smirked at me, his golden eyes dancing in amusement, "You are, after all, sending out waves of panic, confusion, and anticipation."

"Sit," Alice demanded. I sat.

"Why are you here?" I whispered. "No, first- _how_ are you here? I mean, it's dark now, but how did you get here?"

"Oh, you underestimate me. Once I decided to come, it just took careful planning. Late flights, long sleeves- you remember Phoenix right?" Jasper balked at Alice, but she just dismissed his look with her hand. "Same concept, just planes instead of cars. Never mind that, we're here and that's what matters."

"But," I stammered, "how are you staying out of sight during the day? Most places here were built to accentuate the sunlight. You are in paradise after all. You are having to act like _Hollywood vampires_!"

"Think Bella! If I can fabricate evidence of an unfortunate fall in a hotel and Jasper can forge multiple passports, school records, and credit reports; I think we can handle maid service!" Her eyes were mischievous and she reached for Jasper's hand. His grin matched her own and I looked down, finally noticing the rings gracing their elegant hands. Funny, I'd never seen their wedding bands even though I knew they were married. "We leave the 'Do Not Disturb' sign up all day. Everyone thinks we're on our Honeymoon! Newlyweds basking in the discovery of each other! It is absolutely perfect!" I looked away from them at that moment. I didn't want to think about the honeymoon I'd once imagined. Alice leaned over and whispered in my ear, "That's how I got Jasper to come with me. All day in the Honeymoon Suite and two suitcases filled with new lingerie, not all of it from Victoria's Secret. Fredrick's of Hollywood has some great stuff too!" She knew Jasper heard every word, not that she cared. She laughed and squeezed my hand tight. I flinched. "Oops. Sorry about that!"

"Which brings me back to you, Bella. I've tried to respect Edward's wishes, really I have. I didn't agree with him then, and I don't agree with him now." I cringed when she talked of his decision to leave me. God, it still hurt. "He thought you'd move on. He thought, or rather hoped, you'd forget him. I told him you wouldn't. He told me not to look, but really that wasn't fair at all. I don't choose to have visions, I just do. And for three years now I've had the same vision of you. You clearly have _not_ moved on."

"It's not polite to watch people take care of intimate business in the bathroom, Alice. One might assume you're a peeping Tom." I glared at her. Jasper perked up, scandalously thinking his wife was a voyeur. Alice thought my comment was hilarious.

"R-ight Bella. Your escapade in the tub deserves to be within the pages of _Penthouse Forum_." I laughed in spite of myself. "If you had moved on, I wouldn't be here. You two really are "Two peas in a pod', to use one of Emmett's southern terms."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I spat. "He left me. He didn't want me. He told me so!" I was pissed. "So what if _I_ still love _him_? So what if _I_ can't be distracted as easily as he can be?"

Jasper snorted. "So that's what he told you? He's so full of shit! Distracted my ass!"

"Jasper," Alice warned but was cut off by a level glare from her husband. I have to admit; even if he hadn't taken a snap at me on my birthday- he looked very scary right then. "We've all wanted to know what he said to you that day. He and Alice argued, he made us leave first, and then everything went to hell!"

"What are you talking about? He said there were no secrets in your family, what with his mind reading, your emotion controlling, and Alice's visions." I was beginning to hyperventilate. _Calm down, Bella. No good can come of this._

"Bella, Edward hasn't lived with us since he left you," Alice whispered. "I didn't want to get into this just..."

"What?" I shrieked at her. I knew at that moment, I must have looked very scary indeed. I felt tears that had long been kept at bay streaming down my face. If I were to look in a mirror, my face and neck would be crimson. Obviously, I was not dreaming. This was a nightmare. Why would my perfect family not be together?

"Please, Bella. Calm down." Alice glared at Jasper. He shrugged, and then tried to reach out and touch me. Since he was moving slowly to not draw attention, I was quicker and wiggled out of his reach. I did not want him to make me pass out here. "Bella, people are staring."

I looked up and saw Andrea gaping at me from the bar. Dave and Tammy had stopped stocking the bar to size up the situation unfolding between the three of us. Confusion clouded Dave's face and he did not know if he should approach us or not. He knew I usually could handle myself, but my traitor tears most likely alerted him that something was terribly wrong. I had tried so hard to fool everyone here. I had been successful for the most part, then the beautiful vampires show up and I am reduced to the blubbering girl I used to be. I tried hard to compose myself, breathing deeply, wiping my tears, and grabbing the untouched Bloody Mary sitting in front of Alice. I took three huge gulps and set the drink back down.

"Sorry about that. Really I am. You caught me off guard." I smiled at them and then turned to wave at Andrea, trying to set her at ease. "That's my roommate. You don't have to have Edward's gift or your vampire hearing to know that they are shocked and confused. I've never acted like this before." Alice and Jasper raised their eyebrows at me. "Well, I've never acted like this _here_. This isn't the place to discuss this." Both vampires let out a sigh of relief. "But I do expect you to explain." I stood up with the Bloody Mary in my hand and guzzled it down.

Alice giggled. "My, my, my. You certainly have become quite the lush haven't you?"

"We all have our addictions, wouldn't you agree?" I retorted, but I grinned back at her.

"Yes, which brings me back to the reason we're here!" She smiled at me and I realized just how easily she'd be able to lure any man out of this bar if she wanted to do so. She really was quite beautiful. "I brought you a gift! Happy Belated Birthday!" She handed me a silver metallic bag that glistened in the dim bar lights. It had pink tissue sticking out of it and was tied with a pink tulle bow. _Why had I not noticed the gift before?_ I recovered quickly enough, she no doubt expected me to, and was about to object to the pretty package when Andrea decided to walk over to the table.

"Hey Bella. Are you ready to let me buy your first Cosmo as a legal woman?" She smiled broadly at me, waiting for me to introduce her to my friends. "Actually, it looks like you decided to get started with a Bloody Mary?" Andrea frowned at me as she questioned my drink choice. Yeah, she'd know it would be a weird choice for me at ten o'clock at night. If I had known _I_ would be drinking the damn drink myself I would've mixed something else. At the time, it seemed to be the perfect smart-ass thing to do.

"Andrea, I would like to introduce you to some of my friends from high school. This is Alice Cullen and Jasper Hale."

Alice took Andrea's hand and smiled sincerely, "How are you Andrea? It's nice to meet you."

Jasper smiled at Andrea but did not offer his hand. "Yes, Andrea. It's nice to get to meet one of Bella's friends."

Surprisingly, Andrea did not seem phased one bit by the beautiful vampires. She pulled up a chair and sat down beside me. "So, are you ready to go out for your birthday drink?" She looked expectantly at me and then to both Jasper and Alice. "Do you guys want to join us? A band is playing down the street. I plan on getting Bella tipsy so she'll get out on the dance floor."

Alice laughed and Jasper grinned. I did not appreciate it one bit. I rolled my eyes for effect. Actually, I am a pretty good dancer now. I just have to have a buzz to get over the fear of tripping over my own feet.

"Shut up, all of you. I can dance now, thank you very much. I run now too. Everyone can't be as graceful as," I waved my hand in the air and turned my head away as I let me voice trail off.

"Of course, I'd love to go dancing!" Alice giggled and bounced up and down in her seat. "How about it, Jazz? It'll be fun. I have got to see Bella dance. But first, open your present. And before you say a word, I didn't spend a penny. Cross my heart, hope to _die_." She laughed at her own joke. I glared at her.

"Ha, ha, ha. You are _so_ funny, Alice Cullen." I took the beautiful package and began to untie the bow. I pulled out the massive amount of pink tissue she had carefully wrapped the present with and pulled out an envelope and a jewel case. My breath caught and my head started to spin. I looked up at Alice dumbfounded. I recognized the jewel case that contained the silver CD I had only heard once. My hands were trembling as I opened the envelope and pulled out the pictures I had taken right after my birthday with the camera Charlie gave me. My sobs broke free and my tears began streaming down my face again. _He had been so thorough. How did she know how much I wanted these precious reminders of him?_ I looked up at Alice. I was shaking uncontrollably, fierce sobs escaping my chest. I traced his outline in the picture with my finger. _He really did exist. I was not making him up._ The waves of pain from my past that had almost killed me three years ago resurfaced and I clutched the picture to me as I felt myself lose consciousness.

I awoke in Dave's small office, lying on his avocado green couch. I could hear voices just outside the door. _This room definitely needed a makeover_. Andrea's voice was thick with worry and Jasper was trying to calm her down. Alice was reassuring Dave that I used to have fainting spells like this all the time in Forks and I really needed to watch my blood sugar. I grunted and sat up. Alice was immediately by my side.

"My God, Bella! Did you have to pass out on me? I knew you would like the gift, but _did you have to faint?_ Your roommate thinks we spiked your drink. Your boss is scared to death. What am I going to do with you?" Alice was checking my pulse and sniffing my skin to make sure I was okay. I kept waving her off. I wanted to look at my picture again.

"Where did you get this stuff, Alice? Do you know how much I wanted these things? You have no idea how hard this has been on me." I gazed at his beautiful face again. Looking at his face now, I should have known he didn't really love me. He was so beautiful and I was, well, not. "Alice, thank you for the presents. I love them, really I do. But you never told me, why are you here?"

She leaned in very close to me and placed her lips right at my ear. She whispered so low I had to strain to hear her. I wondered why she was being so secretive with no one else in the room. Jasper would be the only one that could possibly hear what she had to say and he already knew, right? Her breath was cool and sweet. "Bella, I came to Hawaii to change you."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

A/N: Okay, this chapter was the hardest to write so far. I have so many thoughts jumbled up in my head! Anyway, I know everyone wants Edward (Don't we all?), but some things have to be developed first. Hope y'all like this chapter. Review please! I love to get your feedback. Thanks!

Chapter 4

My head started to spin again. I placed both feet on the floor to try to steady myself. I closed my eyes and took deep cleansing breaths. I could not let myself get my hopes up. I knew when I opened my eyes I would be home in my bed and I would be dangerously close to being late for work. I had let my wildest fantasies take over last night, well not quite my wildest, and I would suffer through any consequences like a trooper. I slowly opened my eyes, one part hoping Alice was indeed a figment of my imagination and one part desperately wishing she would really be in Dave's office with me.

"Oh my God," I whispered. She was less than two inches from my face, staring intently at me and inhaling deeply. My hands instinctly flew to my face and then I stiffened, hoping I had not moved to suddenly to kick in _her instincts_.

"Oh, please," she spat. "Get over yourself! You smell good, as far as that goes, but not that good!" Alice rolled her eyes at me. Then she stared intently into my eyes; searching for answers to questions she had not quite been able to ask me yet. Her gaze held me, although I knew I should look away. I heard the door open to my left and felt Andrea lunge towards me on the couch. She hugged me tightly, but I did not turn to her until Alice closed her eyes and released me from her gaze. She got up quietly and walked over to Jasper.

"Bella, what happened? I've never seen you pass out?" Andrea's concern was written all over her face. She put her middle and index finger at my wrist, checking my pulse. The picture of Edward and me was still tightly clutched in my hand when I tried to push her away. "What is this?" she asked as she snatched the picture out of my hand.

"Uh, it's, well it's a picture of," I stuttered like a complete moron, trying to compose myself and think of a plausible explanation for why the photo was clutched in my hand like my life depended on it. Before I came up with an answer, Andrea provided one for me.

"So, is this Edward?" she whispered.

"What? What did you say?" I gasped. Alice and Jasper had stopped whispering at the doorway and were staring intently at me. My eyes were wide as saucers, trying to make sense of what Andrea just asked me. How did she know the name? I never allowed myself to say his name except on my birthday. I didn't even own a diary for fear I would only keep the hurt fresh if I had the opportunity to write my thoughts down. I looked to Alice and Jasper- did they tell her?

"Don't look at me," Alice answered curiously.

"How do you know his name?" I demanded of Andrea. I had been so careful.

"Bella, you talk in your sleep." Andrea looked at me and then dropped her gaze to the picture. "So, this _is_ Edward," she whispered. "I always wondered about him. When you first moved into the dorms, you would cry in your sleep for him. The R.A. came to our room one night about it. She was worried that you needed counseling. I was the only one you would talk to in our dorm, you studied all the time, and you cried for him every night."

"What!" I shrieked. So, I hadn't fooled anyone! All my work, trying to be normal, going to school, going to work- it had been for nothing. My damn talking in my sleep had betrayed me again. "You never said anything to me. You never asked." My voice had dropped to a whisper.

"Bella, I'm sorry." Andrea reached over to hold my hand. "The first year in the dorm was the hardest for you. You cried every night. You would beg him to not leave or to let you go with him. I knew he had hurt you deeply, but I couldn't find any information on him. You didn't have pictures, phone numbers, or any addresses for him. I was afraid ask."

I lifted my head and stared pathetically at Alice and Jasper. I was just as weak as I had been in Forks when he left. I thought I had learned to compensate well. I wondered how much Alice had actually seen. "Andrea, Edward is Alice's and Jasper's brother. I haven't seen them since Edward broke up with me my senior year of high school."

"Oh," she sucked in her breath, and then she narrowed her eyes at Jasper and Alice and set her face in a grim line. "Oh," she repeated again, this time wrapping her arm protectively around me. "Well, it has taken three years for you to stop crying in your sleep," she acted like she was talking to me, but her tone was icy. "You don't need old wounds to be reopened. You've been hurt enough."

I glanced up in time to see her glaring at the two beautiful vampires. I was shocked! Alice and Jasper didn't seem phased at all, but I couldn't believe that Andrea had this mother bear persona in her. She looked like she was ready to attack them.

"It's okay, Andrea. Alice was my best friend. It hurt me deeply when she left, as well." I patted her hand, "Really, it's okay. I need to talk to them. Why don't you go on to see the band? I don't really feel up to it tonight. I'm sorry. You go have a good time. I'll make it up to you. I promise." I crossed my heart with my index finger and smiled weakly at her.

"Are you sure? I can take you home before I go. Or I don't have to go." She glanced up at the vampires, wondering if I could take being alone with them. Alice nudged Jasper and he slowly walked over to Andrea.

"Andrea," he cooed seductively at her. "We'll take Bella home if that's okay." His eyes were smoldering and his voice was like silk. Andrea's previously determined expression began to melt and I had to cover my mouth with my hand to keep from snickering. "She'll be completely safe with us, I promise."

"Er...okay," Andrea breathed. "If that's okay with Bella."

"It's fine," I tried to hold back my giggle, but it surfaced. Alice was beside me and lightly elbowed me in the ribs. "Go on and have a good time. I'm still a little woozy. Alice is an extremely safe driver," I added.

"Okay," Andrea was trying to recover from Jasper's charms. He offered her his hand this time and led her to the door, never breaking his gaze. "Now, we'll be at your apartment. If you need a ride, don't hesitate to call. We'll be glad to pick you up. Would you like me to escort you to the club?"

I had never witnessed Jasper's abilities so blatantly. Once Andrea had left the tiny office I couldn't hold back my laughter. I was laughing so hard I began to snort! "Oh my God! I bet she's about to hyperventilate! I haven't experienced that in a long time!"

"Oh, shut it!" Alice hissed at me. "It was necessary and you know it. Now, back to what I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted. Did you hear what I whispered to you?"

"I did." Jasper answered quietly.

I had not heard Jasper reenter the tiny office. Alice closed her eyes and sighed. I looked from Alice to Jasper and back again, realization slowly dawning on my face. _Oh my God! She was so careful and quiet because she really didn't want the only other person possibly able to hear her comment to actually do so!_ My jaw dropped as I continued to look back and forth between the two vampires.

"Jasper, please." Alice's eyes were still closed. Her face was a carefully composed mask. "This is for the best, trust me."

"Alice," Jasper growled. "You know he won't like it."

"I know."

No. This was not really happening. No. I watched dumbfounded as Alice got up from her position by me on the couch and walked over to Jasper. Their lips were moving but I couldn't catch what they were saying. I could tell from their facial expressions that it was a heated discussion. I sat there trying desperately to make sense of the scene playing out in front of me. Alice and Jasper were really here. Edward did not live with his family anymore. I had my pictures and CD in my hands. Alice saw my birthday ritual. Alice said she came to change me. Jasper just found out what Alice planned on doing. Over and over again these thoughts crashed into me, leaving me disoriented and confused. This doesn't make sense. Tears began to slide down my cheeks as my memory flooded back to the forefront of my mind. _He said he was tired of pretending. He said he didn't want me to go with him. He said no when I asked if he wanted me. He said I wasn't good for him._

_No. No. No._ My mind screamed at me. All I had wanted for entirely too long was to hold on to any scrap of him I could find. I would have gladly provoked someone, a vampire, to bite me. Change me. Make me strong, beautiful, and desirable. There was a time I would have given anything, even my soul, to be able to be beautiful and strong, to chase after him as he chased his distractions. To just look at him, even if he never wanted me again, would have been enough. But now, as I finally let myself believe this was no dream, I knew that wouldn't be enough for me. I would not be content to only look at him, to talk to him without touching him. I would want more. And he didn't. He didn't love me. He never did. And as much as I wanted to share his eternal existence, I only wanted to be immortal if I could have him.

Alice and Jasper seemed to be oblivious to my pathetic tears. Alice seemed to be winning the battle taking place in the corner. They were still involved in conversation, but Jasper's face was nowhere near as animated as Alice's. He seemed calm, considering everything she was telling him. Her lips began to slow down and I tried to pick up some of the words she was saying.

"Beyond ridiculous," she whispered. "Seriously.. best... Edward.." she glanced at me and saw that I was concentrating so hard that I might burst a blood vessel in my brain, "moved on." She stopped speaking so low and so rapidly. "Sorry, Bella. I know that's rude of me, of us." She grabbed Jasper's arm and pulled him toward the sofa where I was sitting, Indian style with my arms securely wrapped around my chest.

"Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag!" She smiled at me, trying to put me at ease. I would not be so easily swayed. "I knew Jasper wouldn't agree with me at first, but since he _is_ partially responsible for this entire fiasco," Jasper visibly recoiled from her grasp, "I've enlisted his help." I eyed her suspiciously, as she sat down beside me.

Jasper stood motionless, staring at her like he had been slapped. "My help?" His eyes were furious. "As you so eloquently stated just now, I am not partially but _entirely_ responsible for Edward's decision, so how do you think I could help you change her?" he spat the words at her. "I wanted to drink from her when she received a paper cut!" I squeezed my eyes tight, willing the images not to reenter my mind. "Once you bite her, how will I resist her blood? My God, Alice- did you even think at all? I would kill her! I am not that strong! Her blood will be too tempting!" He roared at her, his eyes black as midnight, jaw clenched tightly. I gasped, remembering his wild eyes the night it all went terribly wrong. I grabbed Alice's hand.

"Stop it, Jasper!" Alice snarled at him, "You're frightening, Bella."

Jasper dropped his head. "I'm sorry, Bella. I've never had the chance to tell you just how sorry I am. He made us leave. He didn't want me within a hundred mile radius of you. I'm sorry." His voice was barely a whisper, he sounded broken. His voice was full of regret as he looked up at me, "If I could do it myself to make it up to you, I would. You have to know that. But, Bella- I've never tasted a human and not killed them." His eyes were slowly warming, reverting back to his usual golden color. "Honestly, Bella. I, we," he looked at Alice, "don't know how _not_ to kill you."

I felt so sad. A new round of tears sprang to my eyes. I couldn't say a word. I didn't understand why we were even having this conversation. Were they so mad at Edward that they would try to punish him by forcing a life on him he clearly didn't want? If I were to become a vampire, would Edward feel obligated to be with me? I loved him too much to cause him guilt and anguish. I wanted him to be happy, even if I wasn't. I wiped my tears, knowing what I had to do. I reached out to Jasper and patted his hand.

"Oh, Jasper, I forgave you right after it happened. It's okay, really." I tried to smile. I could only manage a weak one. _I can do this. Make it convincing._ Jasper raised his head, utter shock written all over his face. "It is so good to see both of you, really it is." My voice cracked. _Shit._ I set my mouth in a grim line. "But..don't...worry." _Do it now. Set them all free._ "I don't want you to change me."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or the characters she created.

A/N: I updated really quickly this time. I was so surprised, but well the thoughts just kept coming. Plus, um, well-my husband has been out of town and well, I miss him and the second part of this chapter kinda just developed from that. I hope you enjoy and please review! Thanks!

Chapter 5

Alice looked at me as if I had just sprouted another head. "What did you just say?"

"I said I don't want you to change me." I couldn't look her in the eye.

"You don't want to be part of our family?" She did not want to hear this.

"No." I glanced over to Jasper. He was watching me curiously. I tried to keep my breathing regular. I silently willed my heart to slow. I knew what Jasper was doing and it wasn't fair. I just had to try to find a way to trick him with my emotions.

"And what has changed?" Alice retorted, clearly not believing the lie that was coming out of my mouth.

"Three years have gone by," I whispered. Her eyes softened when I looked up at her. "It's too late, Alice. He made his choice." I had to make them buy it. I had to do this for Edward.

Jasper was staring at me as if I was an open book. His eyes were curious and kind. There was no trace of the wild, unable to reason with Jasper I had last seen on my eighteenth birthday. But he knew. He could tell. And I knew he knew what was going on.

"You believed his lies." Jasper looked at me with a sad smile on his face. "Oh, Bella."

"Why wouldn't I believe him?" I snapped back. "He said he was tired of pretending. He told me he did not want me anymore. He told me he did not want me to go with him. He left me, Jasper." My voice was full of anguish. I knew my face had contorted into a hideous mask of pain. I remembered. I couldn't forget.

"He lied to you." Oh, how well I knew that. All the times he told me he loved me- all lies. "I never thought you would believe him." Alice whispered. "No wonder he won't come home. It must have been terrible."

"Bella, listen to me please, this is important. Edward loves you. Edward only wants you." Jasper was pleading with me now. _No, this wasn't true._

"No, he doesn't," I answered without looking up from the small cigarette burn I discovered on the avocado green couch. "I can't do that to him. I can't do that to me. He doesn't want me and I won't force myself on him. And I don't want to me immortal if I can't have him. Think about it. Would you want to continue to live forever if you lost Alice?"

"Oh, Bella," Alice sobbed. "You look exhausted. Let's get you home. We can talk more about this later." She helped me to my feet and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I have really missed you, you know that?" She smiled at me and gave me another hug.

We walked out of the office, explaining to everyone that I was fine and just needed to get something in my stomach. Jasper told Dave they would see to it that I made it home safely. I grabbed my keys and started walking to my jeep when Alice grabbed the keys out of my hand triumphantly.

"You told Andrea I was a great driver!" Her smile lit up the room. "I'll drive you home. Jasper will meet us there."

I was too caught up in my own thoughts to argue with her. She'd win anyway. I opened the passenger side door and climbed into my seat. She got into the driver's seat and looked over at me anxiously. She seemed at a loss for words, which is so unlike Alice Cullen that I almost laughed.

"Well, spit it out!" I teased her. "You look like you are about to choke on your own words!" I finally let myself relax around her and truly returned the smile she gave me before.

"You're wrong you know. About Edward. And I can prove it to you." She put my jeep in drive and headed to my small apartment.

A slight breeze was blowing the light rain into my room. I felt the mist on my face and opened my eyes. My alarm clock display said 3:30. I got up and went to close my window when I caught the scent. _Mmm, sweet, delicious_. I knew that smell. It was burned into my mind, but I couldn't tell you what it smelled like if you were to ask. I scanned my room for him allowing my eyes to adjust in the dark. I found him sitting at my desk watching me with those beautiful eyes. _Edward_. I inhaled deeply, letting the intoxicating scent fill every pore in my body. This is so nice. I knew I was dreaming. How could I not? He was so _fresh_ in my mind from my birthday delusion, to Alice and Jasper, to the treasured return of my photos- it was bound to happen. _And I was going to enjoy myself, yes I was_. I walked over to him slowly. His eyes followed every move I made like _I_ was a fantasy he didn't want to wake from. When I touched his angelic face he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. I ran my fingers through his beautiful hair and decided to test my limits. Who cares? This is my dream. I leaned down and softly kissed his full lips. They were cold, just like I remembered. _Oh yes._

"Bella," he whispered. And it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.

"Hmm?" I breathed, not wanting to break my concentration. I decided to push my sanity. I climbed into his lap, straddling him. His breath caught and I smiled. Edward would have done something exactly like that had he really been here.

"Bella, what are you doing?" I then felt his hands cradling my face and the warm sensation felt amazing. His topaz eyes were staring at me intently. He seemed to be trying to pull the wicked thoughts that were playing like an explicit love scene right out of my head.

"I'm kissing you silly," I giggled into his ear. His body tensed, but he did not attempt to push me away; more proof he was a beautiful illusion. I licked his earlobe and began traveling down his neck. He tasted so sweet, better than any dessert I had ever placed in my mouth. I wondered how other parts of him would taste and I sighed. "This is an amazing dream."

"Bella, you aren't asleep. I assure you, I am no dream." His voice was soft; again he inhaled my scent deeply.

"Uh-huh," I rasped as I continued licking and kissing his neck. My dream. My desires. End of discussion. I willed his hands to find their way to my waist. My dream Edward did not comply, so I slowly moved my hands to his shoulders, down his arms, and found his hands myself. My entire body was tingling from his closeness and I brought his hands to my waist. "There. Isn't that much better?" I thought it most definitely was.

"Bella," he tried to move his hands from my body, but I wanted no part of that. "Oh, Bella." He sighed in defeat and left his hands where I had placed them. That was fine _for now_. I began unbuttoning his white cotton shirt, kissing each part of his luscious body that I uncovered. "Bella, you aren't dreaming. I swear to God, please listen." His voice was husky; he seemed to be desperately trying to form complete thoughts. I didn't stop.

I finished unbuttoning his shirt. I was so glad this was a dream. If he had really been here I would not have had the dexterity to complete the task. My heart was pounding against my chest, but I continued to push myself. He had no boundaries in my dream world. I carefully slid the white cotton off his shoulders, pulling myself away from my ministrations to drink in the beauty that I knew was Edward Cullen. His eyes were wide, not sure what I was going to do next. I wasn't entirely sure either. I knew what I wanted since I had dreamed of him often, but this hallucination was very good. It almost seemed too real. So, I just went with it. Within the confines of my thoughts nothing was off limits; even if he did bite me, I would wake with a pumping heart. So, why not? _Why not?_

I pulled my tank top over my head wanting desperately to imagine skin-to-skin contact with him. My hair fell across my shoulders hiding my breasts from view. I stared at him expectantly and pushed my hair behind my shoulders so that my breasts were bare. He broke my gaze, unable to refrain from staring at my now bare torso. He sucked in his breath and his expression was a mixture of desire and pain. I carefully leaned towards him, placing my hands around his neck, pulling him closer to my body as I wrapped my legs around him. I felt a low growl building in his chest, but I ignored it. I gasped as my chest finally reached its destination. _Oh this is amazing!_ I smiled into his neck as I felt my nipples grow taut against his body. He did not move. I wondered why.

"Bella, you're overestimating my self-control." His voice cracked. I didn't care.

"My dream, remember? I want this." I answered.

"I am no dream."

My body was so hot. Even with my breasts pressed against his cold, stone body, I was on fire. My legs were wrapped firmly around his waist. His hands were burning my waist as if he were branding me his own. I let myself drink in his seductive smell wanting to join my body to his and feel his hands explore every inch of my body. I ground my hips into his and a deep moan vibrated throughout me. I felt the heat from my most private area urging me to give myself to him.

"Bella, you have to stop. I'm really here." His voice was tight. "Someone is here. Oh. My. God." His hands finally moved from my waist and ran up my spine sending ripples of desire throughout my body. "You smell so good. You have to stop." His voice said to stop, but I could feel his body reacting to me. So I didn't. I moved my hips again and began letting my tongue roam over his perfect body, making my way back to his mouth.

"Someone is here," he choked out again. Who cares?

"It's just Andrea coming in from the bar. Don't worry." I purred. I had reached his mouth. I was going to kiss him in the dream, really kiss him. I licked his bottom lip demanding entrance into his mouth when my bedroom door opened and someone turned on my light. I gasped, shock registering on my face as Edward wrapped his arms around my body to hide my nude torso.

"Hello brother." Alice sang to him. She danced into my room and I thought I was going to faint.

I clutched myself to him, panic clearly evident on my face. I was dreaming! This is so not fair!

"I told you," he whispered in my ear. "Hello Alice. Hello Jasper."

"Nice tattoo, Bella." Jasper laughed as my entire exposed area turned scarlet.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Yeah, we all know that I do not own these characters.**

**A/N: Well, here it is. Sorry it took so long to post. I had a hard time writing this because I kept hearing Edward's POV also and it was driving me crazy to stay in Bella's mind. I may have to write this chapter from Edward's POV, as well. It was quite comical. Let me know what you think. Oh, and if you haven't read Harry Potter-go get it. It is amazing! Special thanks to my beta, Cheada. I really appreciate her input.**

Chapter 6

Shit. Only this could happen to me. It is almost four o'clock in the morning. I am wrapped around my ex-boyfriend's rock hard, ice-cold body like a snake, basically nude with my boobs crashed into his chest. This is lovely, just _fabulous_. If I were to have a heart attack right here a vampire bite would not even save me.

"You. Are. Real." It was not a question. I was staring at him like a deer trapped in headlights. I could not believe this was happening.

"Yes, Bella." Edward whispered back at me. His eyes were struggling to stay on my face and not focus on the fact that his brother and sister were in the room, grinning at our almost nude bodies like jackasses eating briars. "It's nice to see you, too." He smiled at me causing a round of snorting from Alice and Jasper.

"Oh, I'll bet!" Alice was now behind me, most likely sitting on my bed. I still had not moved an inch. This is the single most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. The only thing that could make it worse would be if...

"Bella? Are you still up?"

Yep. Strike that. The only thing that would make this worse would be for Andrea to catch her uptight, never dates roommate in this extremely compromising position. Just great!

"Oh God," I cringed.

"Bella? Hey, are you a-? Oh, I'm so sorry!" Andrea shrieked and it hurt my ears. Then she just stood at my doorway with this dumbass look on her face. I still had yet to move. The fucking vampires could have warned me.

"Andrea, let me introduce you to my dear brother, Edward. Edward, this is Bella's roommate, Andrea." Alice spoke as if nothing, absolutely nothing was wrong. "Um, Bella and Edward were just saying hi to one another." I could not bring myself to break Edward's gaze. I knew Alice had a huge grin on her face. I desperately wanted to slap it off of her.

"Hello, Andrea," Edward answered as if this was the most natural thing in the whole world. Yeah, like I had often given him lap dances in front of other people. "I would shake hands but, as you can see, my hands are full at the moment." Jasper snorted and Edward's eyes finally set me free. He glared at Jasper through narrow slits. "You know I could kill you for this. Can you _feel_ that, Jasper?"

Jasper doubled over in laughter, bracing himself at my wall as if he was about to collapse. What was with him? I had never seen him act like this! He was actually enjoying my mortification.

"Okay, okay. The show is over. Bella is indeed awake now. Andrea, could you do me a huge favor and put on a pot of coffee? I won't be able to go back to sleep now." Andrea nodded and headed to the kitchen. I slowly pulled myself off of Edward's chest. It physically hurt to remove my body from his and I gasped.

"Are you okay?" Edward couldn't help but glance down at my now exposed front.

"I'm just fine." I rolled my eyes at him. Never mind the fact that my nipples were so hard I could cut glass or that I knew he could feel the warmth radiating from down _there_ or that I'm sure that at least three of the five people now in my tiny apartment could definitely smell my arousal. "I'm just peachy."

I crossed my arms over my chest and scooted off of Edward's lap. I turned towards my bed looking for my tank top. Just then, Edward moaned and then Jasper flew into the wall with a loud crash.

"What the hell?" I screamed and jumped towards Jasper's body, my hands now on my hips. Edward's eyes were again transfixed on my body and Jasper was lying on my floor still laughing.

"Bella," Alice turned me towards her. "I don't guess it matters which side of you is facing Edward at this point." Her eyes were dancing mischievously. "You are very scantily clothed and well, he is a man."

I looked down at myself and realized that not only was I topless, but the only garment of clothing I was wearing were low-rise knit boxsie shorts with turquoise blue and granny apple green polka dots on them. I left little to the imagination. My cheeks were hanging out of the shorts and I knew I must look like a damn exotic dancer.

"You know Miss Peeping Alice, Jasper can download you plenty of porn if you need it!" I screeched at her.

"Oh, yeah? Well if I had known you were so frustrated, I would have bought you a vibrator for your birthday!" She quipped at me.

_What?_ I wanted to hit her so bad, but I knew I'd just break my damn arm on her granite skin. So, I grabbed the nearest thing on my desk and threw it at her. Thank God she caught it because it was my ipod. I stared at her in shock.

"You. You. I can't think of a word bad enough to call you right now!" I roared. "Where are my clothes?" I was frantically searching for something to cover my nude body. "You saw this, Alice. I know you did." I was so mad at her that I was shaking. My words dripped with venom. "You let this happen and now I am almost buck naked, red as a cherry!"

Jasper snickered again. I had found my tank top and turned to face him just as I pulled it over my body. Edward growled.

"What?" I demanded. Oh, my cherry comment. "Shut up, Jasper."

Alice was smiling devilishly at me. "Bella, what are you so mad about? That I saw this and let it happen? Or that I saw this and stopped you?"

I sucked in my breath. She cocked an eyebrow at me and whispered, "Just how far would you have gone, Miss Bella Swan?"

Edward had stopped glaring at Jasper and was now intently watching me. He was obviously wondering how far I would've taken my fantasy as well. His eyes roamed over my body, which was still barely covered. I felt the hot rush of blood color my chest, rise up my neck, and fill my cheeks.

"And YOU." I turned towards Edward. "You. What were you thinking?" I glared at his beautiful face, wanting so badly to touch him again. _No. I had to stay mad_. "What happened to your boundaries?" I leveled my most furious glare at his beautiful visage. "You laid beside me almost every night for months and never once allowed me to touch you the way you did tonight! Do I no longer intoxicate you?" I really didn't want to know the answer to that question, but I was embarrassed and therefore, furious. "You knew I thought you were a dream!"

His eyes dropped to the floor and he pulled his shirt back onto his shoulders. I would have preferred his chest remained visible, but knew I would be able to concentrate better if he were fully clothed. He fidgeted with the buttons of his shirt like he was the clumsy one of the two of us. He inhaled deeply then brought his eyes back to my face.

"I, well, um" He looked around the room. "Can't we speak in private, Bella?" His voice was like honey. Wait. _He_ sounded embarrassed?

"Oh, now you ask for privacy?" I huffed. "Edward, I have my top on now." I found a pair of sweats and was wriggling them up over my hips. His eyes were greedily sweeping up and down my body again. "It doesn't matter, now does it? Alice and Jasper can hear everything we say," I whispered.

"Fine, then." He accepted his fate. "I knew I should stop. I knew you thought you were dreaming, but I, I, well, I just couldn't bring myself to do it." He shrugged his shoulders. "I haven't seen you in three years. God, you have no idea how hard these past three years have been."

"Oh, really," I interrupted. He looked at me with the most pained expression.

"Well, and Bella, the truth is that when Emmett told me that Alice and Jasper were in Hawaii I thought, um," I had never heard him stumble over himself like this. I glanced to Alice for answers. She smiled and just nodded her head towards Edward. "Well, I thought that if she had been near you then maybe I could to." His words were barely audible. "And I missed you. _God, how I've missed you._ And you felt so _good_. And I didn't _want_ you to stop. I wanted to pretend you still wanted me as much as I want you."

_Pretend_? What was he talking about? He left me.

"Finally," Alice breathed. "I told you Bella."

After all the commotion that took place just minutes before, I couldn't believe the silence that fell over my room after Edward's confession. We stood there, eyes locked, trying to decide what to do next. Jasper had finally composed himself and had positioned himself beside Alice. No one seemed to know exactly what to say. I was lost in my thoughts; drinking in the most beautiful sight I had ever seen, trying to commit him to memory again. His eyes were smoldering at me and I welcomed the feeling that accompanied his ability to make me feel the way I felt right now. I knew I needed to break free from his gaze but I couldn't. I vaguely heard someone call my name, but they seemed so far away. I knew I should answer, but couldn't find the words.

"Bella, did you hear me? The coffee is ready. Do you want me to pour you a cup?" Andrea broke the spell Edward had over me. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts.

"I'll get it. Thanks. The sun will be up in two hours. You better go on and try to at least get a few hours of sleep. I'll be quiet, okay." I smiled at her, trying to put her at ease. She kept glancing between Edward and me, not sure if she should leave me or not. "I'm fine, Andrea. Promise."

She sighed, shrugged her shoulders and gave in. "Okay. Goodnight. Nice to meet all of you." Then, she turned around and headed to her room.

"Well, I guess we'll be more comfortable in the living room." I walked out of my room and headed to the kitchen. Edward sat on the couch facing the kitchen giving me a clear view of him while I poured my coffee. Jasper set on the recliner to the left of Edward watching the scene unfold curiously. I wondered what all he was feeling. He had acted so strange. Alice followed me into the kitchen and hopped up on the counter right beside me.

"So, Bella. What's that tattoo on your back mean? I mean, I've seen it somewhere I know. I just can't place it right this second." She looked at me curiously. "I never would have thought you were into body art," she mused. "I didn't see it either. Hmm, wonder why?" She said more to herself then to me.

My head jerked up and I couldn't believe I had actually forgotten about my tattoo, even though Jasper mentioned it when he so rudely interfered with my fantasy. The tattoo had been an act of rebellion. I thought it was a reckless thing to do, but me being me, I considered it carefully before choosing. Thank God for that. I wouldn't want some daisy on my butt or some mundane butterfly on my hip. Although it was carefully researched, I was rewarded with Edward's beautiful voice when I lay down on the table and the needle touched my skin. The tattoo was an intricate design and took over forty-five minutes to complete. It burned and the smell of my blood made me nauseous, but I prevailed simply because I was able to hear Edward's vehement disapproval of my decision in my warped mind for the entire time.

"Um, well," I stumbled over my words, "it's a Celtic love knot." I couldn't help but glance at Edward when I said the words. He was staring at me again and I was thankful, once again, that he could not hear my thoughts.

"Oh. Well, what does it symbolize?" Alice asked, although I was sure she probably knew the answer. I couldn't look away from Edward. I knew I would sound pathetic when I answered her. She already knew just how pathetic I really was, no surprise there.

"_Forever_," Edward and I answered in unison.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Again, I own nothing, nada, zip.

Okay, this chapter is in Edward's Point of View. It will explain chapters 5 from his viewpoint. Sorry it took me so long. I hope it was worth the wait. Thanks to my beta, Cheada, who made me feel it was worth a post! And to Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner, thanks for the encouragement!

Chapter 7

I wish this plane would go ahead and taxi to the gate. I hate sitting on this plane, trapped with two hundred minds screaming at me. Although it has proven very helpful in the past, it's times like these that I wish I couldn't read minds. The kids behind me are hungry, the man beside me is anxious to get to his hotel room and meet his mistress, and the woman beside me keeps wondering what I would look like in a Speedo. _This is hell._

I flipped over my phone and dialed Emmett. He knows it's me. He better answer, there's no avoiding this now. "Hey, have you heard from Alice or Jasper?" Silence. "Look, I already know they're here. Jasper isn't the only one that can use the Internet. I also know she's here, too." This is so frustrating. I hate not knowing exactly what is going on in Emmett's mind. Emmett was extremely careful and chose his words wisely. He so wanted to not get caught up in this argument. And he was right. There would be an argument.

I pulled out the printout with Jasper's reservations: Hilton Hawaiian Village in Honolulu. The next sheet was a printout of Bella's transcripts from the University of Hawaii at Manoa. She was doing well; a 3.7 GPA. She would graduate in December with a Bachelor's degree in Languages and Literature of Europe and the Americas. I was so happy for her. _This is why I left._ For three years, I've repeated that mantra over and over to keep me from finding her; to keep me from breaking my promise. The final document Jasper left on the computer at home listed Bella's address on the Island of Manoa. _So close._ I could just check in on her before going to Alice and Jasper and beating the hell out of both of them. I looked at my watch: 11:30. Jesus, by the time I get off this plane it will be midnight. Who knows what time I'll get to Bella's apartment_. At least it's finally dark._ I won't have to wear my jacket or this infernal hat outside. I closed my eyes and saw Bella's beautiful face smiling at me behind my eyelids. _So close._

The captain finally taxied to the gate and, after waiting for all the slow humans to get their carry-on luggage down from storage, I was free from that damn jet. I finally found a taxi and gave him Bella's address. _Not long now._ Once the taxi dropped me off in front of her building, reality set in. What if she wasn't alone? What if I climbed through her window and witnessed her making love to another man? Could I handle it? Did I have a right to be jealous? I knew I didn't, but that didn't stop me from never wanting another man to touch her, kiss her, spend time with her. Well, no man but me. And I left her. I pushed her away. _This is not helping things._

_Oh, to hell with it._ I found her apartment and climbed up to the open window. Even before I climbed in the window I knew I had found her. Her scent hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt my throat go dry as I inhaled deeply. _Bella._ Venom pooled in my mouth begging to taste the sweet blood pumping through the sleeping form's body. _No. That's my Bella. The only person I will ever love. My soul mate._ I quelled the monster inside and moved to the side of her bed. I inhaled once more, letting her scent intoxicate me. She had the covers pulled up over her shoulders. Her hair was fanned out behind her; still just a beautiful. Brown really was warm. Her face hadn't changed much. She was still the most glorious thing I have ever seen. I scanned her room quickly and found a chair to the left of the window at her computer desk. I sat down and smiled. _Just one night in my sanctuary_.

A slight breeze started blowing the light rain into Bella's room. I wasn't sure if I should close her window to keep her warm and dry. Just then, Bella began to stir. She opened her eyes. _Oh, Bella._ I froze in my seat. She got up and walked over to the window. My eyes greedily ran up and down her body. She had on a white tank top that hugged her curves and little shorts that were low on her hips and barely covered her ass. _Oh, no. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be looking_. But I couldn't look away. I was mesmerized. Her legs were firm. I could see muscles in her arms and legs that hadn't been there in Forks. She was exquisite. She closed the window and then inhaled deeply. She froze. _No, it wasn't possible_. She turned and scanned her room, allowing her eyes to adjust in the dark. I held my breath. Did she know I was here?

Her eyes settled on me in the corner. I couldn't move. She took another deep breath and then walked slowly over to me. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She touched my face and the warmth felt so sweet, as close as I'll ever get to heaven. _How could I have left her?_ I inhaled her scent slowly, savoring her touch. She ran her fingers through my hair and smiled at me. She leaned down and softly kissed me on my lips.

"Bella," I whispered.

"Hmm?" She thought she was asleep. She wasn't alarmed at all to have me here. She climbed into my lap, straddling me to put us face to face. My breath caught and I was afraid to breathe anymore. I couldn't lose control.

"Bella, what are you doing?" I couldn't help myself. I softly cradled her face in my hands and stared into her eyes. I thought I could lose myself right then and there. While sometimes I wished to not be a mind reader, with Bella I found I always wanted to know her thoughts.

"I'm kissing you silly," she giggled into my ear. The hot breath teased my ear and my body tensed. I could not move. Her pink tongue darted out of her mouth and licked my earlobe, then she began slowly swirling her tongue in little circles down my neck. The sensation was amazing! I didn't want her to stop, but I didn't know how much I could take.

"Bella, you aren't asleep. I assure you, I am no dream." I tried to convince her. Her scent was overwhelming. I tried to force myself not to breathe, but I so desperately wanted to inhale her scent. The desire was too great and I inhaled deeply. _Delicious. Just one little taste. I won't kill her. I'll make her mine. Why should I be alone?_

"Uh-huh," Bella rasped as she continued to lick and kiss my neck. Her hands slowly moved to my shoulders sending shockwaves through me that I never wanted to end. _Mmm, she feels so good._ She gently caressed my arms and took my hands in hers. I still couldn't move. I really didn't want to. She placed my hands on her waist and her hot breath on my neck didn't help matters any at all. _I am selfish and I want her._ "There. Isn't that much better?" Her voice was barely audible.

"Bella," I tried to will my hands to move from her warm skin, but she held my hands to her body. "Oh, Bella," I sighed in defeat. I knew I could easily move her if I had really wanted to do so. I closed my eyes and savored the brief reprieve that God had granted me. A shock ran up my spine when I felt her hands nimbly unbuttoning my shirt. _Just one tiny sip._ My control is slipping as she kisses each part of my body that her glorious hands uncover. "Bella, you aren't dreaming. I swear to God, please listen." _Was that really me talking? _I almost didn't recognize my voice, but this isn't just the monster within wanting to drink her dry; no- this is the man wanting more than anything to feel the pleasure only this exquisite creature could give me.

Shock was clearly evident on my face as she slid my shirt down my shoulders and pulled away to look directly in my face. Her eyes roamed greedily up and down my body and the most seductive smile graced her lips. Before I realized what she was doing, she pulled her tank top over her head allowing her hair to fall across her shoulders. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She pushed her hair behind her shoulders allowing me full access to her bare breasts. I take back what I said on the plane. _This is hell. Heaven and hell. _I tried so hard to keep my attention on her angel face, but I couldn't help but focus on her beautiful body. _Why can't she be mine? _She leaned towards me and in one swift movement that totally caught me off guard; she wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. The heat that crashed into my chest was so wonderful that a low growl escaped my chest. I have never experienced anything as wickedly delicious as the feel of her hot chest pressed firmly against my cold body. _Is it really so bad to want her for forever?_

"Bella, you're overestimating my self-control." My voice was a hoarse whisper. I don't know how I was even able to form a complete thought. I could feel parts of her body reacting to me like I had only dreamed they could. Her body was so hot. She ground her hips into mine and a deep moan that sounded so heavenly vibrated throughout her body. _Oh God, what am I about to do?_

"Bella, you have to stop. I'm really here." I could hear someone outside Bella's bedroom door. I could hear their thoughts and I knew that I should recognize them. My mind was elsewhere. I couldn't focus on anything other than Bella, wrapped around me clearly wanting what I could only dream about. "Someone is here. Oh. My. God." I gave in. My hands ran up her spine, wanting to feel every inch of her. "You smell so good. You have to stop." She ignored me. She moved her hips into mine again and I felt my body reacting to her in ways I've never allowed it to do before. "Someone is here."

"It's just Andrea coming in from the bar. Don't worry." Her voice sounded like a kitten's purr. _She would make a very seductive vampire. Just one bite._ She licked my bottom lip and I knew I wouldn't resist her. Her hold on me was now complete. Suddenly her door burst open and light flooded her tiny room. Shock registered on Bella's beautiful face and I instinctively wrapped my arms around her to hide her beautiful body.

"Hello brother." Alice and Jasper. Did I know they were outside? _What a naughty little vampire you've been_. She grinned wickedly and I shot her a death glare.

"I told you," I whispered in Bella's ear. "Hello Alice. Hello Jasper." _How can I torture you?_

"Nice tattoo, Bella." _I bet if we had waited a while longer you wouldn't be a virgin anymore Edward._ Jasper laughed and Bella's body turned the most exquisite shade of pink. Wait, what tattoo?

**A/N: Next Chapter will be from Edward's POV too! Please review!**


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